Drowning In Herself

When someone asks how she’s been doing,

She responds that she’s been great,

When she’s anything but.

Her dam’s breaking on the inside,

But she forces on a smile on to put other’s back together.

People tell her she takes everything too seriously,

But she can’t help it.

She tries to be flexible,

But the everything at this point will put her on pins and needles.

She needs to learn to have fun,

Everyone berates.

She will fake her joy and run around with the others,

But occasional comments will trigger her rage,

Earning her taunts and jeers that call her grouchy and no fun.

She needs to relax,

They all say.

She tries to do just that,

But the smallest events will bring her to a mental breakdown.

She stresses over everything,

They all whisper.

She knows,

Believe her when she says that she knows.

She tried to be like all of you,

All carefree and chill,

But she just can’t at this stage.

She wants someone to understand,

Someone to be like her;

Too deep under the water and on the verge of running out of air.

She doesn’t understand how she sunk so deep into the pool,

She just woke up one day and found herself far beneath the surface.

She’s tried to swim up on her own,

But she isn’t sure if she even knows how.

Though she doesn’t know when or if she’ll escape,

She will continue to hold her breath,

Telling the world she’s okay

While in the midst of drowning in herself.

 

© Amelia Jacobson 8/21/2017

(Image link and credit: Unknown)

 

 

 

Hey, everyone!

I’ve been feeling stressed over everything recently, especially with me going back to an actual school and the last few busy weeks of summer. I might not be posting at all once school officially starts, because I’m not sure how much homework I will have or if I will be crazily busy. I hope I won’t be busy at all, but that’s probably just wishful thinking. Anyway, I hope I get over this stress and fearfulness, I’m thinking it’ll go away once school starts.

Hope everyone’s doing well and thank you so much for reading!

~ Amelia Rain Jacobson