I refuse to give in,
I’m too young to fall into that trap.
I’ve got a short childhood left,
And I don’t want to be blind as I live.
But those eyes,
And that smile. . .
So inviting and warm.
Stop right there, Heart.
These feelings aren’t allowed.
I must lock them away,
In the deep recesses of my mind.
They aren’t allowed to be shown to anyone but myself,
And even I don’t want to drown in those feelings.
Lock them up and bury the key far away,
So I will never have a chance to find it.
I’ve watched what this weird feeling does to people,
I’ve watched them trip and stumble
As they obsess over the one they claim they cannot have,
When they could just go up to them and say how they think.
I’ve nearly been taken by the feeling for someone before,
But I refuse to have it happen again.
People have asked me who I admire
And they claim they catch me staring at a certain someone,
Your assumptions are wrong.
I talk to him because we’re friends,
It’s nothing more than that.
Stop saying you know the “real” reason I’m denying.
You’re one to talk.
You can’t even approach people of the opposite gender without blushing and stuttering.
Why can’t all you lovesick people accept my truth?
I refuse to love someone again,
Those feelings are gone
And I’m not going to let them come back for your amusement.
Love is blinding,
I’ve learned this fact.
I will not let it take me
The same way it had taken all you.
I refuse. . .
©Amelia Jacobson 2017