Refusing Love

I refuse to give in,

I’m too young to fall into that trap.

I’ve got a short childhood left,

And I don’t want to be blind as I live.

But those eyes,

And that smile. . .

So inviting and warm.

No.

No.

No.

Stop right there, Heart.

These feelings aren’t allowed.

I must lock them away,

In the deep recesses of my mind.

They aren’t allowed to be shown to anyone but myself,

And even I don’t want to drown in those feelings.

Lock them up and bury the key far away,

So I will never have a chance to find it.

I’ve watched what this weird feeling does to people,

I’ve watched them trip and stumble

As they obsess over the one they claim they cannot have,

When they could just go up to them and say how they think.

I’ve nearly been taken by the feeling for someone before,

But I refuse to have it happen again.

People have asked me who I admire

And they claim they catch me staring at a certain someone,

But no.

I’m sorry,

Your assumptions are wrong.

I talk to him because we’re friends,

It’s nothing more than that.

Stop saying you know the “real” reason I’m denying.

Teh,

You’re one to talk.

You can’t even approach people of the opposite gender without blushing and stuttering.

Why can’t all you lovesick people accept my truth?

I refuse to love someone again,

Those feelings are gone

And I’m not going to let them come back for your amusement.

Love is blinding,

I’ve learned this fact.

I will not let it take me

The same way it had taken all you.

I refuse,

I refuse,

I refuse. . .

 

©Amelia Jacobson 2017

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15 thoughts on “Refusing Love

  1. Kristin

    Holding back emotions is like holding back the tide. Best to let it move. Your actions are your choice of course. But allowing yourself to have your feelings without judging them is healthy❤️. No need to fear or hold a white knuckled grip……

    Liked by 2 people

  2. i agree with both of you [Official R!CO] love is an amazing thing,it can make you the happiest person in the world,[wolf girl] but when you are a younger person 11-15 it is not very possible you will find the love of your life at that age.And although love is awesome,it can also cause a lot of pain,which is what wolf girl is trying to say,you are only young once,why waist half that time stressing over a girlfriend\boyfriend that you will probably never end up with

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope this isn’t actually how you feel. Maybe you just feel like this as a kid. When you’re a teen, these are the kinds of feelings you have all the time. I really don’t know your age, so I can’t gauge it properly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am 14, and I see your point. I wrote this just because I’ve noticed how much people change themselves BECAUSE of love, and they aren’t changing a good way. I just think that, while you’re young (infant through 18yrs), you shouldn’t waste your time on someone else when you could be using your energy to spend time doing what you love, because you might not have much time to when you’re an adult.

      Like

  4. Ok. Look. I’m sorry, but I don’t agree with this… Love is a good thing. I mean I can say that you shouldn’t fall in love with just anyone. And it takes time to build a relationship. But no love ever again makes no sense! Sorry if I was rude. Just expressing my opinion in order to possibly make a point.

    -Dire

    Liked by 2 people

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